philosophy meta-forum

How would you respond to a rejection letter if given the chance?


16 day(s) ago

Only snarky posts, please.


16 day(s) ago

No u


16 day(s) ago

Evidence strongly suggests that I would throw it in the trash (or: delete from my inbox) and move on with my day.


16 day(s) ago

Dear Search Committee-

I have now had the opportunity to carefully review many of the schools to which I applied, and your candidacy as a place of employment for me has ended. The pool this year has been a competitive one, and I was fortunate to apply for a large number of highly desirable jobs. After careful consideration, I have decided to pursue my candidacy with one of the more excellent ones. Thank you very much for the time you spent considering my application, and I wish you every success with your department in the future. I do encourage you to reach out to me in the future when you have open positions for which I qualify.



15 day(s) ago

I keep it real when I get rejected. It happens to everyone. You have to be calm, reflect, and keep in mind that it is no mark against you. And no diversity hire fattie is going to keep me from getting published. For example, in response to my last rejection I sent the following to the editor: What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.


13 day(s) ago

give it to whoever in philosophy has the biggest dump


13 day(s) ago

I shoot rats behind this diver bar

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