philosophy meta-forum

Just a Story

Walter

5 day(s) ago

I happened to read about a company that hired a psychopath. She proceeded to accuse her four closest male rivals successively of sexual harassment. The company had a zero-tolerance policy and refused even to investigate any charges, so all four guys got fired.

Then one day, a young man working at the company accused her of sexual harassment. Problem solved.

Madhava

5 day(s) ago

That young man's name? Albert Einstein.

Eudoxus

5 day(s) ago

That young man's name? Albert Einstein.

Madhava

You won't believe what happened next!

Pierre-Simon

5 day(s) ago

I happened to read about a guy who posted a story on an anonymous forum which characterized a woman as a psychopath for making spurious accusations of sexual harassment but failed to say anything negative about a man doing exactly the same thing.

Mahatma

5 day(s) ago

It's called retribution.

Luce

4 day(s) ago

That young man's name? Albert Einstein.

Madhava

And... Madhava wins the meta-forum.

Baltasar

4 day(s) ago

This topic is now for philosophy-themed copypasta.

A marxist post-structuralist continental Ecole Normale Supérieure professor and feminist activist was teaching a class on Martin Heidegger, known hermeneuticist.

”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Nietzsche and accept that his genealogical method was the most highly-evolved theory the continent has ever known, even greater than Hegel's dialectics!”

At this moment, a brave, rational, positivist analytic philosopher who had read more than 15000 pages of Popper and Wittgenstein and understood the raison d'être of empiricism and fully supported all modern hard sciences stood up and held up the constitution.

”How universal is this text, frenchfag?"

The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied “It's not universal at all, fucking positivist, its 'truth' is rooted in our shared understandings about culture, the subject and the nexus of power and knowledge”

”Wrong. It’s been 225 years since human reason created it. If it was not universal, and post-modern relativism, as you say, is real… then it should be regarded as a myth now”

The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of On Grammatology. He stormed out of the room crying those ironic post-modern crocodile tears. There is no doubt that at this point our professor, Michel Foucault, wished he had pulled himself up by his bootstraps and become more than an AIDS ridden sadomasochist interested in fisting. He wished so much that he had some kind of truth to hold on to, but he himself had written to disprove it!

The students applauded and all rolled into American universities that day and accepted Wittgenstein as the end of philosophy. An eagle named “Formal logic” flew into the room and perched atop the copy of "Principa Mathematica" and shed a tear on the hardcover. The last sentence of "Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus" was read several times, and Karl Popper himself showed up and demonstrated how dialectics is nothing but a means of justifying contradictions.

The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of the gay plague AIDS and his "books" were disregarded for all eternity

Baltasar

3 day(s) ago

What the fuck did you just fucking discursively perform about me, you little analytic bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Frankfurt School, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret critiques of late capitalism, and I have over 300 confirmed deconstructions. I am trained in phenomenology and I’m the top ubermensch in the entire plane of immanence. You are nothing to me but just another signifier. I will dialectically reason you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the rhizomatic network? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of poststructuralists across the continent and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the sickness unto death, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your Dasein. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can deterritorialize you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in existential anguish, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the ideological state apparatus and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable body without organs off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy exegesis your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn Other. I will shit words all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

Albert

3 day(s) ago

That young man's name? Albert Einstein.

Madhava

lol. context: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-yFhR1fKWG0


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